if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
