he wants to bone in the snuggie
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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