You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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