I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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