I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
