This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
