thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
