Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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