Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
