shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
