Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
