after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm gonna fight the coyote
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm both gender and math confused
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
