halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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