perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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