: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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