just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
