All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
