Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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