Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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