Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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