This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
