ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
