Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
