1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Alive.
So much puke
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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