Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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