Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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