before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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