Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
