Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
