For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
