just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
