6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
