well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
