I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I lost the right to judge tonight
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
