He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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