Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
