awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
third nipple confirmed
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
