Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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