thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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