i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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