What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
