one two three fourrrrnication!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
