She is in my trunk
no, he came in my armpit
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
