How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
