let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
