i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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