I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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