4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
