never play flip cup with pint glasses
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
