Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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