Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
