Where did you get a picture of my penis
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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