Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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